1. I envy the people in my generation (especially around 5 to 7 years older than me) who have just started a family and are having the time of their life because of it. And seeing them makes me want to start a family of my own. Nevertheless, I could only imagine how much effort would it cost to sustain a blessed and happy family.
2. Feeble efforts to keep the relationship (or whatever people would call it) alive. There is always the battle between sentiments (saying “follow your feelings” or “just do it”) and the reason (saying “it’s already done and gone; what can you possibly do?”) when I talk to her. Funny thing is that I had similar conflict inside me few years ago.
3. I seriously wonder why I am in a dire need of having a “family”. It’s not like I had a horrible family or I’m an orphan. Seriously, what is wrong with me? 🙁
4. I am terrified by the very idea of having feelings for someone and having to have a make-over for going out with someone. But I still have desperate need for someone to stand by me everywhere at any time, not to mention the urge to wanting to start a family of my own. What a contradiction.